Bad Design Blog

Because bicyclists were breaking everything BUT fingers...

2009-05-08T14:33:00.002-04:00

Brass knuckles on handlebars, what a capital idea.

What a waste. You know, some people don't even have fingers to throw away!

*Thanks to Sacha for the heads up.

via boingboing

Oh Doctor Zizmor, you crazy.

2009-05-08T14:24:00.004-04:00

Gothamist just posted an absurdly long interview with everybody's favorite Subway ad dermatologist, Dr. Jonathan Zizmor.

I especially like the part where they ask him his favorite subway ad:

"There was a guy who did an ad for braces. It was a long one and he told in that ad everything you wanted to know about braces. And they showed four or five panels and it really explained to you how braces worked. It ran for a really long time. I thought it was a great ad."

I bet you did, Dr. Zizmor.

The tale of an impressionable youth and a limited edition e-reader.

2009-05-05T16:43:00.008-04:00

My first high school job was as a library page.

It was the perfect job for a shy, nerdy sophomore. For those unfamiliar with library lingo the page is that teenager/retired octogenarian you see wandering the stacks re-shelving carts filled with grimy books. I came across plenty of interesting books and I would often stop to read a few pages here and there.

This literary exploration had a lasting impact on my impressionable, still only slightly-jaded mind. But for all the Isaac Asimov, Kurt Vonnegut and Don DeLillo on the cart it always seemed like the overwhelming majority of books were written by maudlin romance novelist Danielle Steel.

Danielle Steel hardcovers, with their sweaty, pastel pink covers and gold-embossed lettering... It was seeing these same books returned day after day that began my longstanding disdain for the general public and their poor taste in ... well ... most things.

So anyway, Sony is coming out with a limited-edition Danielle Steel e-reader. It's disturbingly blood-red and it comes with a "custom embossed Danielle Steel book cover", whatever the hell that is.

But now what will the library do with five stacks of unread Danielle Steel? They'll have to fill in the gaps with Sue Grafton, I suppose. "J" is for Just end it already, Sue Grafton.

Let me just turn on this lamp and ... OH! OH GOD, NO!

2009-04-30T14:02:00.005-04:00

Designer Daan van den Berg "infects" ordinary objects (in this case, an IKEA Lampan lamp) with a digital version of the elephantiasis virus, causing globular deformities, cracks, and bulbous pustules. He then uses a 3D printer to "print" the resulting monstrosity:

Well isn't that pleasant.

nextnature via boingboing

Remember these from SimCity 2000?

2009-04-23T14:54:00.005-04:00

Imagine a dystopian city of the future. What do you see? If you're like most science fiction writers over the past 75 years, you probably imagine towering skyscrapers that block out the sun while the poor struggle to survive in the polluted slums of the shadows beneath the towering canopy.

Well, now one architect has decided to make this horrifying vision a reality! Hurrah for blind progress!

Visit Inhabitat for more details on this ill-conceived design, part of the 2009 eVolo Skyscraper competition.

At least maybe now we'll finally get our flying cars. I was promised flying cars.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

2009-04-21T13:05:00.003-04:00

Beer lovers have a myriad of different gadgets for looking like a complete jackass while drinking; liquor enthusiasts have novelty shot glasses. Wine drinkers, however, have the unfortunate distinction of looking consistantly refined and dignified. Even a wino drinking out of a paper bag exudes a certain gritty, old-world charm. So what is a tasteless wine connoisseur to do?

How about an unwieldy balloon bladder that pisses wine into a melted glass reservoir?

According to makers Kyouei Design, "it is a glass for drinking a lot."

You mean like a bottle? And speaking of bottles, is it really that difficult to just refill your stupid wine glass? And how are you supposed to hold this thing? A bottle of wine is pretty heavy; wouldn't it crack at the stem as soon as it was tilted? And if by some miracle you make it through an entire glass without the thing shattering in your hands, how are you supposed to clean it out?

And it doesn't even look nice! Winos, stick to the bottle - it's tried and true and it doesn't make you look like some sort of vampire clown.

via trendsnow

Don't let it bite you, Peter Parker.

2009-04-19T13:13:00.004-04:00

Oh, illuminated lawn ornaments...

I will never understand the compulsion some people have to plop enormous, illuminated santa balloons on their lawns year after year (nobody likes your 50-foot blow up santa!) But at least holiday blow up toys are seasonal. This light up squirrel is designed for year-round lawn tackiness:

I appreciate their environmental awareness but couldn't the "designers" have found a more asthetically-pleasing way to mount the solar panels rather than making it look like ... well...

Forget it - it's a $55 radioactive squirrel. I can't take this seriously.

product page via nerdapproved

Mona Lisa meets Elephant Man meets Ernie.

2009-04-19T12:59:00.005-04:00

Austrian artist collective Getlin (Wolfgang Gantner, Ali Janka, Florian Reither and Tobias Urban) has raped the poor Mona Lisa in order to create what is quite possibly the ugliest collection of paintings the world has ever seen. Here's just a few of the most offensive; you can visit their site for more if you're feeling especially masochistic.

Warning, the following "paintings" are not for the faint of taste:

via designboom

Thankfully, the bad stuff can sometimes be difficult to find.

2009-04-15T11:39:00.005-04:00

I've been too busy this week to sniff out bad design (or do much of anything other than work and watch old episodes of nerdy sci-fi shows) but on the plus side I did stumble across the work of this amazing Brazilian artist. His name is Henrique Oliviera, and he is currently exhibiting at Rice Art Gallery in Houston, Texas.

So if you find yourself in Houston for some ungodly reason between now and May 9th go check it out. Here's a few examples of his work:

Well, it's certainly different...

2009-04-09T14:28:00.007-04:00

UK firm Moxon Architects have been granted permission to build their design for a 40,000 square foot office building known as '163 PRS / olivers place' in Prestons, England.

The otherwise dull, square office building is covered in anodised aluminum fins, giving it the appearance of a scared and rather unfriendly-looking porcupine.

And if you think it's ugly now, just think of how much worse this building is going to look in thirty years' time...

"A hedgehog? What were they thinking back then, Papa?"

"I don't know, son ... the oughts weren't a good decade for architecture. Just look at that circus out in the Emirates."

"Oh yeah - Dubai is fucking ridiculous."

"Son, don't swear! We don't say Dubai in this house."

I wonder how long it'll be before those fins start to fall off.

*all images courtesy of Moxon Architects

via designboom

Try putting one of these in your baby snuggie.

2009-04-08T11:50:00.006-04:00

Oh my god. Oh my freaking god.

Run now, before it's too late.

dvice via botjunkie

I think maybe she's letting the Oscar go to her neck.

2009-04-08T10:09:00.005-04:00

Did you know that giraffes have a black tongue? I learned that from Salute Your Shorts. Giraffes also have an advanced circulatory system; a giraffe's heart can weigh up to 22 lbs and must pump twice the normal amount of blood pressure in order to maintain circulation to the brain. At an average of 1.9 hours a day, they also have one of the shortest sleeping requirements of any mammal.

The evolution of the giraffe's long neck is subject to debate. The traditional theory is that this would have allowed them a competitive advantage in reaching foilage beyond the reach of other grazing mammals. An alternative theory proposes that long necks evolved as a secondary sexual characteristic; a sort of one up manship in the fierce courting ritual of "necking" contests to establish dominance and gain access to prized mates.

So what is Penelope Cruz's excuse?

via psd

What, no Bluetooth?

2009-04-07T15:00:00.004-04:00

Some sicko on Instructables has posted a detailed guide on how to make your very own "Mouse Mouse."

That's right, it's a mouse stuffed inside a mouse carcass.

"Mouse Mouse" ... I get it.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah...

It's nice to see the art of taxidermy keeping up with the modern age.

*thanks to Sacha for the link

So much depends upon a red coffee table.

2009-04-07T13:40:00.006-04:00

Zaha Hadid is one of the most celebrated architects in the modern world. She has designed deconstructivist masterpieces like ... er ... well there was that ski jump, and uh ... wasn't there a fire station in Germany somewhere?...

All right, well even though hardly anything she's designed has actually been built she's still won plenty of awards for her pretty pictures including the field of architecture's highest honor, the Pritzker Prize.

Now she's gone and designed this ugly red coffee table:

It's shiny. It's plastic. It's bright, primary red. And it's fucking tilted.

I'd hate to see the apartment where something like this would belong; in my nightmares I picture gleaming white walls covered in Keith Haring prints.

Maybe she should stick to paper. And ski jumps.

via 3rings

Did I mention they're $399?

2009-04-06T15:51:00.004-04:00

The Sealpelt designed by Icelandic Vík Prjónsdóttir sees your Snuggie and raises you what's left of your dignity. I hope you're warm now, jackass.

Grimace ate Jena Malone

via trendsnow

You're gonna need a bigger cup-holder.

2009-04-06T13:27:00.004-04:00

Okay, I'm getting sick of people putting stupid shit in their cars. Remember 'Pimp My Ride'? "Yo dawg, we heard you like cooking, so we turned your perfectly serviceable Ford Focus into a ridiculous, stainless steel fucking kitchen!" Gee thanks, Xzihibitzzxxizz!

Is that show still on the air? Who am I kidding, MTV doesn't cancel shows. It's a black hole of programming that survives on a revolving door demographic of bad, adolescent taste.

In a similar vein, here's a crock pot designed to be used in a car:

Driving while cooking. Nothing can go wrong with this idea.

I guess it might be useful for camping (which they don't even mention on the product page) but really, you'd better off buying a real crock pot and just using a car adapter. Then at least you could actually use the stupid thing where you might actually need it. You know, like in a kitchen?

On the subject of stupid shit in cars, why don't cars have electrical outlets? For fuck's sake, it's 2009! Why are people still plugging cell phone and ipod chargers into cigarette lighters?!

I'm so glad I don't have to drive anymore.

via nerdapproved

Watch out for Professor Moriarty.

2009-04-02T14:10:00.008-04:00

It's a slow day. Everything I've seen looks useful, tasteful, and generally well thought-out. Crazy, right?

Must be some sort of post-April Fools lull.

In a pinch, however, you can always turn to Japan...

It's a keyboard duster. In the shape of a gun. With a little pink brush.

How quaint.

Who the hell dusts their keyboard, anyway? Aren't they self-dusting? Isn't that sort of like cleaning out a tea kettle or washing an umbrella? Maybe the Japanese are just more anal about their cleanliness of their electronics.

I hear they have holodecks over there, now.

Japan

via rinkya

Think Kanye will hawk these ones, too?

2009-04-01T12:32:00.011-04:00

Kudos to Sacha for finding this one. I wish it was an April Fool's joke, oh god do I wish...

In the latest, outrageous example of hipster "avant-garde eyewear", a Baltimore-based start up introduces what are essentially wooden blindfolds with coinslots that they call "Slanties". Slanties?! C'mon guys, that's not even subtle - that's just outright racist. What's next, Kike Noses? Nigga Wigs? Towelhead ... um... towels?

They claim the design is based off of "ancient Inuit eyewear".

that's going to be one hilarious tan line

The inuits also built houses out of ice. Just saying.

If you plan to sacrifice function for form, then the design had better look damn good. Derogatory wooden coinslot facemasks? Not so much.

Anyway, I guess they might be valuable to middle school health teachers to use during their anti-smoking lessons. "This is what it's like when you have cataracts. Not fun, is it?"

No. No it isn't, Mrs. K. Not fun at all. And I look like a total douche.

Did I mention they were 75 fucking dollars?

productpage

If you squint, it looks sort of like Homer Simpson.

2009-03-31T17:33:00.003-04:00

Danish designer Ole Jensen may have surpassed Jason Miller in the race to design the world's ugliest chair.

It's like a giant brain with erect, nubby nipple arms.

Jensen claims it was not designed with style or function in mind (we could tell), but memory: "we all have special objects that refresh memories – things that have a meaning and create the pleasure of recognition".

Uh huh. Okay. So what does that have to do with this hideous, nipplebrain chair?

Reminds me of a very bad dream I once had ... I won't go into details.

via designboom

Quick! Somebody shoot it!

2009-03-31T15:19:00.003-04:00

Oh for the love of god ... it's a fucking baby snuggie.

No. Just no. Babies are creepy enough as it is.

via dailyintel

Is that Sylar from "Heroes" on the bottom, there?

2009-03-31T12:39:00.002-04:00

Just when my expectations for Microsoft's ads couldn't sink any lower...

This is the ad for their latest version of Visual Studio.

Let's just ignore the maudlin, Kinkadean painting style for a moment and focus on trying to figure out the situation. I mean seriously ... what the fuck is supposed to be going on in this ad? Since when do white nerds and Asian girls play basketball? Why are they dressed like Best Buy employees? How is that kid able to dunk? Did yellow-shirted Jeff Daniels launch him into the air?

And I'm still trying to decifer that mystifying tagline: "Good teams score. Fast teams score often and deploy early." ...what?! Has Microsoft hired the fucking Sphnix to write their copy? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Deploy? Is this an ad for the Army? No, because at least military ads make sense.

Oh, and there's aliens. Jesus Christ, Microsoft.

via copyranter

Legend of Zelda, a cuffLink to the past.

2009-03-31T10:26:00.007-04:00

There are gamers and there is formal wear and never the twain shall meet.

...or shall they?

Is there really a market for this junk? The tawdry tie market can survive on science teachers alone, but when was the last time you saw a science teacher wearing a tuxedo? The only people who wear cufflinks are grooms, politicians, royalty and James Bond. Do you think any of them would wear a wii-mote on their cuff?

If I wasn't at work, there would be a picture of James Bond wearing a guitar hero cufflink. Just pretend it's here and laugh accordingly.

via technabob

Some countries just don't get it.

2009-03-30T13:57:00.003-04:00

Bad Russia! Bad!

via adsoftheworld

What's wrong with batteries?

2009-03-30T11:54:00.005-04:00

What do you get when you combine the utterly mystifying Japanese sense of humor with the frivolity of USB gadgets?

This piece of crap (no pun intended).

It's sort of like a dancing Santa; only it somehow manages to be even more taste/useless. USB ports are meant for printers, mice, keyboards and data storage devices. Why anybody would occupy one of these precious slots with some worthless tchochke, I will never understand.

via crunchgear

The ears look ironically uncomfortable. In your ears.

2009-03-30T09:52:00.006-04:00

Apparently, eggs aren't the end of Disney's most recent, absurd branding streak. Now they're making their own bedazzled, in-ear headphones!

Something about toddlers with iPods just weirds me out. And why do they need in-ear headphones? Are they jogging in the park? I mean, we're not suggesting that adults will buy these, are we?

Please tell me adults won't be buying these.

*kudos to Donald for the clip

via itechnews from rayout

Ugly muppet chair.

2009-03-27T11:52:00.004-04:00

Been searching for a 70s-style chair haphazardly covered in fake buffalo fur? Brooklyn-based Jason Miller designs furniture that purposely appears dirty, damaged or ugly. I'm not kidding - that's his schtick. In this case, he has definitely succeeded:

I'm not saying that's a good thing. God damn.

Maybe if it didn't have those creepy eyes in the middle...

via designboom

Remember when Christopher Walken wasn't just a running joke?

2009-03-27T11:17:00.004-04:00

This belt buckle makes me angry.
This thing is a trifecta. The design is half-assed and lame. It references an SNL sketch that everybody is sick to fucking death of hearing about. And it includes its own drum stick in order to offend the ears as well as their eyes.

And how does this even work as a belt buckle? I would like to see one person - just one person - wearing this thing to see how they would pull it off.

And then I would shoot them. Because it makes me that angry.

productpage via fashionablygeek

Geography isn't that difficult.

2009-03-26T16:43:00.004-04:00

The Port Authority claims to be "Making our world better one step at a time." But wait... which planet are they talking about?

I never realized The Port Authority was an alien organization. It all makes sense, now.

via boingboing

And if you think their logo is bad...

2009-03-26T12:15:00.004-04:00

This is the new tourism logo for the state of Wisconsin (yes, states have logos).

Is the little red man doing a handstand supposed to represent how Wisconsinites should be living? And who thought blood red/pea soup green was an inspired color palette?

The better question is: why do government institutions keep spending obscene amounts of money on logo design and branding that I could have done with ClarisWorks in my middle school computer lab?

This trash cost Wisconsin taxpayers $50,000.

Wisconsin, I'll redesign your logo for $500. Just let me know. I'll totally do it.

via yourlogomakesmebarf

Make your PSP even more useless.

2009-03-26T10:54:00.004-04:00

Can somebody explain to me the point of this stupid thing? Seems like it would get a little frustrating to have a PSP wrapped around your arm when it came time to ... I don't know ... use it? Are you supposed to play it with one hand? I don't get it.

via Gizmodo

I am shaken (not stirred) by this stupid faucet.

2009-03-25T15:30:00.001-04:00

Now for only $690 you can have a chintzy plastic olive on your tap! I'm sure it'll go great with the neon Miller-Lite sign hanging above the bar in your half-finished basement of broken dreams.

via trendir

Chinese designer answers the age-old question: how ugly can clothing get?

2009-03-25T10:46:00.000-04:00

I appreciate the artfulness of high fashion design but it is still meant to serve a purpose: to be worn.

Chinese designer Jiang Zhou has lost sight of the goal with this ridiculous, UFO-inspired, couture collection.

Would you wear that? Then I'm afraid I couldn't be your friend, crazybags.

via gizmodo

A cruel, cruel ad campaign.

2009-03-24T17:35:00.001-04:00

Not cool, Dr. Barata. Not cool.

I wonder how much he paid the pizza place for this ad campaign. And I wonder how many customers they lost because of it.

via inventorspot

Learn to photoshop.

2009-03-24T17:15:00.001-04:00

This ad for a vegetarian restaurant is an interesting design idea but the execution is all wrong. Some simple patching would have cleared up that messy distortion in the jawline.

That is unless Vienna-based design firm Jung von Matt/Donau intended to make it look hand-cut and reassembled. If that was the case, then I would have opted for even more of a collage-effect; the way it is now just looks like sloppy photoshop.

Wait a second ... is that guy eating a bear? Who eats bear?

via inventorstop

A cut above the rest.

2009-03-24T15:45:00.001-04:00

Remember that guy next to the Glamour Shots kiosk in the mall who airbrushed flamingos and custom license plates?...

Graffiti artist collective Tats Cru recently repainted their memorial tribute mural to the notorious dealer Benjamin "Killer Ben" O'Garro in Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

god, it's hideous

Not only is this montrosity a tribute to an attempted-murderer, it is a memorial to dead aesthetic values, discretion and good taste. And unfortunately for me it's right in my neighborhood, so every time I walk down Myrtle Avenue ... there it is!

This has led me to a realization: there's no art worse than bad graffiti.

For over twenty years, the members of Tats Cru have been defacing the walls of buildings throughout New York with hideous "memorial walls" to fallen gangstas.

this guy's nickname was seriously "headache"?

is he supposed to be doing a magic trick? dancing the robot?

I like how Gundy's afro goes out of frame in this one - they're really pushing the boundaries, here

The self-proclaimed "Mural Kings" have even been hired by companies like Coca-Cola, McDonalds, and Hummer in order to cash in on their 'street cred'. I'm surprised MTV hasn't given them their own show by now.

These guys are no Basquiat. Won't somebody please paint over this crap, already?

Heineken is gross.

2009-03-24T13:36:00.001-04:00

Really, Heineken? A disco ball keg? Really?

via gizmodo

Deep down inside, aren't we all beautiful?

2009-03-24T12:09:00.000-04:00

Risa sent me an interesting article from the New York Times about artist-turned-doctor Satra Stuelke. Stuelke CT scans ordinary objects like toys and gadgets and reveals a hidden world beneath the sleek, brushed aluminum surface. It's slightly off-topic but worth sharing, so whatever.

You can follow this link for the full article, here's an excerpt:

"When an object is scanned, the machine produces 200 to 500 image slices. Mr. Stuelke loads this data into a computer program that allows him to assign different colors to areas of different density. Mr. Stuelke’s results include a Barbie with flaming orange hair and articulated white leg bones; a skeletal iPhone with a dizzying array of connections that resemble a fantastical, tricked-out city; and a translucent wind-up bunny whose internal mechanisms are disturbingly reminiscent of a bomb."

who knew barbies had bones?

artists site via newyorktimes

Japan's creepy "fashion model robot".

2009-03-24T11:16:00.001-04:00

Engineers from Japan's National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology have unveiled their new prototype 'gynoid', the HRP-4C "fashion model robot"...

...and have officially clinched the title of creepiest nerds on the effing planet. If you're working on a sexbot, fellas, just come out and say so.

And shouldn't a "fashion model robot" be able to walk without looking like a geriatric Parkinson's patient in ski-boots? Isn't that, you know... the only thing it should be able to do?

Creepy.

via designboom

I never did like that stupid rainbow logo, anyway...

2009-03-24T10:19:00.000-04:00

Google's Visual Design Leader Douglas Bowman blogs on why he *gasp* quit Google.

"Today is my last day at Google.

I started working in-house at Google almost three years ago. I built a team from scratch. I was fortunate to hire a team of a very talented designers. We introduced Visual Design as a discipline to Google. And we produced amazing work together. I’m very proud of my team, and I wish them well. They have a lot of challenging work ahead. But for me, it’s time to move on.

Do I have something else lined up? Yes. That will be covered in Part 2. So I’m not leaving just to leave. But I’m not going to sugarcoat the reasons for my departure either. The scale at which Google operates was an early attractor for me. Potential to impact millions of people? Where do I sign? Unfortunately for me, there was one small problem I didn’t see back then.

When I joined Google as its first visual designer, the company was already seven years old. Seven years is a long time to run a company without a classically trained designer. Google had plenty of designers on staff then, but most of them had backgrounds in CS or HCI. And none of them were in high-up, respected leadership positions. Without a person at (or near) the helm who thoroughly understands the principles and elements of Design, a company eventually runs out of reasons for design decisions. With every new design decision, critics cry foul. Without conviction, doubt creeps in. Instincts fail. “Is this the right move?” When a company is filled with engineers, it turns to engineering to solve problems. Reduce each decision to a simple logic problem. Remove all subjectivity and just look at the data. Data in your favor? Ok, launch it. Data shows negative effects? Back to the drawing board. And that data eventually becomes a crutch for every decision, paralyzing the company and preventing it from making any daring design decisions.

Yes, it’s true that a team at Google couldn’t decide between two blues, so they’re testing 41 shades between each blue to see which one performs better. I had a recent debate over whether a border should be 3, 4 or 5 pixels wide, and was asked to prove my case. I can’t operate in an environment like that. I’ve grown tired of debating such minuscule design decisions. There are more exciting design problems in this world to tackle.

I can’t fault Google for this reliance on data. And I can’t exactly point to financial failure or a shrinking number of users to prove it has done anything wrong. Billions of shareholder dollars are at stake. The company has millions of users around the world to please. That’s no easy task. Google has momentum, and its leadership found a path that works very well. When I joined, I thought there was potential to help the company change course in its design direction. But I learned that Google had set its course long before I arrived. Google was a massive aircraft carrier, and I was just a small dinghy trying to push it a few degrees North.

I’m thankful for the opportunity I had to work at Google. I learned more than I thought I would. I’ll miss the free food. I’ll miss the occasional massage. I’ll miss the authors, politicians, and celebrities that come to speak or perform. I’ll miss early chances to play with cool toys before they’re released to the public. Most of all, I’ll miss working with the incredibly smart and talented people I got to know there. But I won’t miss a design philosophy that lives or dies strictly by the sword of data."

They seriously asked him to prove his case over border size? Engineers are ridiculous. I don't blame him for leaving.

stopdesign via gizmodo

I know I said I'd stay away from web design, but...

2009-03-23T16:36:00.001-04:00

1995. The internet. Everybody wants to be there but nobody can figure out why (cough...twitter...), and every web site is an adventure in metaphorical nagivation: "Come, take a trip through our virtual office! You can even stop at the water fountain and drink some virtual water! It's the future!"

Then sites like Amazon and eBay prove that the internet can be used for more than cutesy tricks and the "virtual office" becomes a thing of the past. Right?

Brill Publications proves that there are still some misguided web designers out there who haven't upgraded from Internet 0.5. It's sad, but it makes you wonder how long it will be before vintage internet goes into style and people start deliberately designing Geocities-era web content.

Anyway, at least it's better than Havenworks...

via webpagesthatsuck

That John Stossel ... he's a funny guy!

2009-03-23T16:03:00.001-04:00

John Stossel does a hard-hitting report on graphic design for 20/20.

via yourlogomakesmebarf

Hello- ow! Son of a...

2009-03-23T13:50:00.001-04:00

I'm all for the consolidation of gadgetry. Cell phone music players, cameras and internet browsers are all useful and consequent combinations. The Cool758, however...

It's a razor phone ... that's actually a razor! Get it?!

What else can we stick in a cell phone? How about a cell phone ear pick? Or a cell phone electric toothbrush? Or a cell phone blender?! Weeeeeeeeeeee!

product page via craziestgadgets

Barcelona prepares for rising ocean levels.

2009-03-23T12:10:00.002-04:00

From designboom: "The extension of the Fira de Barcelona in Montjuïc is planned half inside and half outside Barcelona's municipal term, at the back of the Montjuïc hill, following the Gran Via Avenue straight to l'Hospitalet de Llobregat.

Japanese architect Toyo Ito won the competition for the masterplan of the project. The exposition center will be composed of 9 pavilions and two 114-meter towers, which will be used for hotels and offices. The two towers will be the highest buildings in Hospitalet. The hotel will also be the second highest hotel in the Barcelona metro area."

Toyo Ito sustains Antoni Gaudi's vision of turning Barcelona into an undersea wonderland fit for The Little Mermaid (or at least Jar Jar Binks). Difference is: Gaudi's work was art - original, beautiful and magnificent.

under construction

rendering

And this is crap.

aerial (or should that be Ariel?) view

Giant, red, Seussical crap.

Good design is not always pretty.

2009-03-23T11:50:00.001-04:00

Kudos to Risa for pointing me toward this article on architectural trends from Toronto's The Globe and Mail:

"JACK DIAMOND
From Monday's Globe and Mail
March 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM EDT

Architecture is an expression of its time and place. It reflects the values, power and dominant elites of the prevailing social structure and the relevant position of nation states in the global context. It even demonstrates the attitudes of imperial powers to their subject peoples.

The most obvious example is the pyramids of Egypt. In a hierarchical culture in which the disparity between pharaoh and fellaheen was immense, so was the difference in scale between royal monuments and the hovels of the poor.

The power of the church in Europe from the 11th to the 17th century was equally clear. Cathedrals were the largest, most elaborate structures at the centre of most European cities. In the 20th century, bank buildings reflected the importance of a mercantile culture: They became the new temples, the dominant structures. It was clear where the power lay.

And what of our time? The excesses of the late 20th and early 21st century are only too apparent. The extremes of individualism, and its accompanying greed, have ruined financial systems and left chaos in its wake. And once more this is reflected in architecture. The so-called iconic buildings (more egonic than iconic) were monuments to ego and extreme individualism. The emphasis was on the dramatic exterior: the way the building looked, rather than how it worked. The interiors could be perfunctory or dysfunctional.

Many iconic buildings are a direct reflection of conspicuous consumption. Instead of exploring engineering, electrical, mechanical and materials technologies to determine the most economic systems, there is a flagrant disregard for cost. Excess is celebrated: the highest, most expensive, most dramatic. The pick-a-shape school of architecture. It isn't simply the money unnecessarily spent on construction, but the energy necessary to heat and cool the building, the steel used to build it.

You can build structures that are both dramatic and sustainable. Consider Buckminster Fuller's domes that were designed to have the smallest ratio of structural steel to the area enclosed or load supported. He was looking at an elegant way to use the least amount of material. Fifty years ago, he explored a dramatic and sustainable path to the future, a path followed by relatively few.

The world is changing quickly and industry has been slow to adapt. The automobile industry, with all its resources, and research and development, was suddenly, and perhaps fatally, revealed as a dinosaur, unable or unwilling to adjust. The building industry should not follow suit.

There isn't a shortage of technologies. The automobile industry had dozens of alternatives that were either ignored or tentatively explored (Henry Ford had intended the Model T to run on ethanol; the electric car is more than a century old). The building trade has dozens of options that are underutilized or deemed too experimental or expensive. But the cost of a building has to be considered, not just in its initial construction, but in its maintenance, and the resources it consumes.

There is recognition that the resources of the planet are not inexhaustible, that the environment's ability to replenish itself must not be pushed beyond a point of no return. It is now an existential question.

Banks have been caught out investing in poorly understood and inadequately researched instruments that ultimately benefited very few while devastating millions. It was a short-term strategy designed to satisfy the pressures of quarterly results. In this new climate of value, banks could assume a leading, progressive role. They could, for example, peg their financing to the sustainable value of projects.

Architecture, in the new era, should exhibit commensurate responsibility. Buildings that were conceived essentially as advertisements for a company or a museum or a city are now advertising an outdated and unfortunate ethic. We need new standards for beauty, one that is gratifying environmentally, technically and functionally. Economy, a word that is re-entering our vocabulary with a vengeance, carries a stigma, but it shouldn't: There can be beauty in economy.

Evolution has shown us such economies: the amazing cantilevered branches of trees, the strength of a spider's thread, the streamlined form of fish, the intricate and delicate strength of plant life. These have survived by being responsive to the forces to which they are subject, using the least - not the most - material in that effort. Man-made objects such as Shaker furniture, a racing yacht, or a geodesic dome, fuse form, function and technology. And we marvel at their beauty.

Jack Diamond is principal of the firm Diamond and Schmitt Architects Inc."

Click, flash, wow, bang, wink, smack, splash, stash ... um... what else rhymes with splash?

2009-03-23T10:49:00.001-04:00

Okay, I know everybody has probably already seen this video and I know it's not technically an example of bad design (although Fornarina's clothing line would probably qualify)...

But mark my words, this 45-second spot is an ill omen. Soon ... soon we will have to deal with airbrushed Skeletohan on our billboards, our buses, in our magazi-

Heh ... magazines ... scratch that last one.

And does this commercial remind anybody else of the music video for Perfume's "Chocolate Disco"?...

...or am I the only one?

This just breaks all the rules. Yes, there are rules.

2009-03-23T10:26:00.002-04:00

I didn't even know there was Olympic racquetball!

via yourlogomakesmebarf

Dell Commander Adama.

2009-03-23T09:45:00.002-04:00

I wanted to try and avoid blogging on web design (that's a whole other kettle of whale) but I was so frustrated by the Flashy product page for the new Dell Adamo that I had to comment.

Dell's Adamo is designed to compete directly with Apple's snazzilicious MacBook Air. In order to do this, their web site has eschewed all information and functionality in favor of beautiful models francing around in formal wear.

It's a miracle they even tell you the name of the product ("Adamo"? Pretty damn close to Adama ... are they trying to jump on the Battlestar Galactica nerdwagon?)

Is the Adamo itself any good? Maybe. Who knows? I can't even find product specifications. All I see on their web page is a heading with four ambiguous options:
Encounter (what, like an animal in the wild?)
Discover (isn't that just a synonym for encounter?)
Admire (well that's a bit narcissistic)
Commit (wait ... if I click it, have I bought one? I don't even know what I'm buying! Maybe I should 'admire' it a little more ... hey, what's up with this weird flickr photoset?)

You've missed the boat, Dell. Nobody wants your laptops anymore.

Really, Levi's? Really?

2009-03-22T01:21:00.002-04:00

Notice anything funny about the reflection in this print ad? Bad photoshop never goes out of style.

via photoshopdisasters

This guy... no, this guy!

2009-03-22T00:23:00.001-04:00

For all the money film studios have to spend on advertising I'm sick of seeing dull, uninspired movie posters (remember The Bucket List?).

Well, I hope the studio thinks Paul Rudd is ready to sell a movie all by himself because their ad campaign for his new film "I Love You, Man" isn't going to do them any favors.

Check out the lame, gradient background! Admire the stifling symmetrical layout! Awe at Jason Segel's painfully awkward pose!

Hollywood, put some thought into your film posters, please.

Even lamer than shutter shades?

2009-03-21T16:56:00.001-04:00

Glasses are supposed to help you see, right? That is their primary function; that's why they exist.

So what the hell are these things supposed to be?

Is this a joke?

Now don't get me wrong: stylish frames are important. Anything you put on your face will have an enormous impact on how you are perceived. Look good, feel good. Blah blah blah...

But a pair of glasses with gold chains hanging down over the lenses is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

Wouldn't they scratch the lenses? Become constantly tangled? Fly all over the place as you walk, smack you in the face and get caught in your hair?

It's like a beaded curtain for your eyes; I always thought those things were stupid, too.

via colette

As if laser pointers needed to get any more annoying.

2009-03-21T02:03:00.002-04:00

What's that? You need a light? Sure, let me just pull out my 2 in 1 Laser Pointer/Jet Lighter Machine Gun!

What does a lighter have anything to do with a laser pointer? Beats me, but doesn't it look totally rad and not at all dangerous? Check out these five different picture lenses including an Indian skull hand and a traditional poin- oh! Sorry pal, didn't mean to shine that laser in your eye! Don't worry, I'm sure the blindness is only temporary.

What? No, officer - it's not a real gun, it's just a totally awesome butane lighter/laser pointer! See? Check out these five different picture lens- ow! Son of a bitch he shot me!

productpage via nerdapproved

3rd Gen iPod Shuffle = useless aluminum box.

2009-03-20T15:13:00.002-04:00

Apple has always been a harbinger of intuitive design; in their software, hardware, and the sleek, brushed aluminum casing to house it all. I mean, who doesn't love brushed aluminum?

They were the first major tech company to realize that all the features in the world are useless if:

A) They break down all the time, and...
B) Nobody can figure out how to use them

The 2nd Generation iPod Shuffle was a coup for an Apple at the top of their game. It was tiny, minimalistic, it held just enough music, and it was solid metal and freaking beautiful. Just look at this work of art:
Apple even offered free engraving on every model ordered online. Customization. Brilliant.

That is why their latest Shuffle model...

...is such a disappointment. How are we supposed to use this thing, Apple?!

The 2nd gen Shuffle had a simple, five-button interface. Play, pause, forward, back, volume up and down. It was universal, mechanical, quick and easy. Nobody was confused. And now you go and cram the controls into three miniscule buttons on the headphone wire? What?

Apple earbuds don't fit in my ears and I know I'm not the only person to have this problem. So how are we supposed to use this new shuffle, Apple? Did you even consider in your techno-xenophobic craze that people might at least want the option to use a pair of third-party headphones?

Soon, Apple will just pick all of our music for us. And that's a shame, because I don't really like Feist.

productpage

Manifesto.

2009-03-20T14:27:00.000-04:00

All is Design.

It is the sheets on our bed when we wake up in the morning. It is the streetlamps as we walk to the train. It is our morning cup of coffee, our office chair, the very clothes on our backs. It penetrates our lives and affects our collective mood more greatly than we can possibly imagine.

And that is why bad design is such a crime.

This blog is dedicated to exposing all of the terrible, unforgivable design that surrounds us. Industrial, graphic, landscape and architectural.

This crap is everywhere and I'm tired of seeing it. It's about time to start pointing some fingers.