Friday, May 8, 2009

Because bicyclists were breaking everything BUT fingers...

Brass knuckles on handlebars, what a capital idea.

What a waste. You know, some people don't even have fingers to throw away!

*Thanks to Sacha for the heads up.
via boingboing

Oh Doctor Zizmor, you crazy.

Gothamist just posted an absurdly long interview with everybody's favorite Subway ad dermatologist, Dr. Jonathan Zizmor.

I especially like the part where they ask him his favorite subway ad:
"There was a guy who did an ad for braces. It was a long one and he told in that ad everything you wanted to know about braces. And they showed four or five panels and it really explained to you how braces worked. It ran for a really long time. I thought it was a great ad."
I bet you did, Dr. Zizmor.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The tale of an impressionable youth and a limited edition e-reader.

My first high school job was as a library page.

It was the perfect job for a shy, nerdy sophomore. For those unfamiliar with library lingo the page is that teenager/retired octogenarian you see wandering the stacks re-shelving carts filled with grimy books. I came across plenty of interesting books and I would often stop to read a few pages here and there.

This literary exploration had a lasting impact on my impressionable, still only slightly-jaded mind. But for all the Isaac Asimov, Kurt Vonnegut and Don DeLillo on the cart it always seemed like the overwhelming majority of books were written by maudlin romance novelist Danielle Steel.

Danielle Steel hardcovers, with their sweaty, pastel pink covers and gold-embossed lettering... It was seeing these same books returned day after day that began my longstanding disdain for the general public and their poor taste in ... well ... most things.

So anyway, Sony is coming out with a limited-edition Danielle Steel e-reader. It's disturbingly blood-red and it comes with a "custom embossed Danielle Steel book cover", whatever the hell that is.

But now what will the library do with five stacks of unread Danielle Steel? They'll have to fill in the gaps with Sue Grafton, I suppose. "J" is for Just end it already, Sue Grafton.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Let me just turn on this lamp and ... OH! OH GOD, NO!

Designer Daan van den Berg "infects" ordinary objects (in this case, an IKEA Lampan lamp) with a digital version of the elephantiasis virus, causing globular deformities, cracks, and bulbous pustules. He then uses a 3D printer to "print" the resulting monstrosity:

Well isn't that pleasant.
nextnature via boingboing

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Remember these from SimCity 2000?

Imagine a dystopian city of the future. What do you see? If you're like most science fiction writers over the past 75 years, you probably imagine towering skyscrapers that block out the sun while the poor struggle to survive in the polluted slums of the shadows beneath the towering canopy.

Well, now one architect has decided to make this horrifying vision a reality! Hurrah for blind progress!

Visit Inhabitat for more details on this ill-conceived design, part of the 2009 eVolo Skyscraper competition.

At least maybe now we'll finally get our flying cars. I was promised flying cars.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Beer lovers have a myriad of different gadgets for looking like a complete jackass while drinking; liquor enthusiasts have novelty shot glasses. Wine drinkers, however, have the unfortunate distinction of looking consistantly refined and dignified. Even a wino drinking out of a paper bag exudes a certain gritty, old-world charm. So what is a tasteless wine connoisseur to do?

How about an unwieldy balloon bladder that pisses wine into a melted glass reservoir?

According to makers Kyouei Design, "it is a glass for drinking a lot."
You mean like a bottle? And speaking of bottles, is it really that difficult to just refill your stupid wine glass? And how are you supposed to hold this thing? A bottle of wine is pretty heavy; wouldn't it crack at the stem as soon as it was tilted? And if by some miracle you make it through an entire glass without the thing shattering in your hands, how are you supposed to clean it out?
And it doesn't even look nice! Winos, stick to the bottle - it's tried and true and it doesn't make you look like some sort of vampire clown.