The tale of an impressionable youth and a limited edition e-reader.

My first high school job was as a library page.

It was the perfect job for a shy, nerdy sophomore. For those unfamiliar with library lingo the page is that teenager/retired octogenarian you see wandering the stacks re-shelving carts filled with grimy books. I came across plenty of interesting books and I would often stop to read a few pages here and there.

This literary exploration had a lasting impact on my impressionable, still only slightly-jaded mind. But for all the Isaac Asimov, Kurt Vonnegut and Don DeLillo on the cart it always seemed like the overwhelming majority of books were written by maudlin romance novelist Danielle Steel.

Danielle Steel hardcovers, with their sweaty, pastel pink covers and gold-embossed lettering... It was seeing these same books returned day after day that began my longstanding disdain for the general public and their poor taste in ... well ... most things.

So anyway, Sony is coming out with a limited-edition Danielle Steel e-reader. It's disturbingly blood-red and it comes with a "custom embossed Danielle Steel book cover", whatever the hell that is.

But now what will the library do with five stacks of unread Danielle Steel? They'll have to fill in the gaps with Sue Grafton, I suppose. "J" is for Just end it already, Sue Grafton.